A Brother? A Gentleman? Or, Both?

It’s been a while. I haven’t really had the time to sit and write and I’m not promising that things will change this year. However, whenever I’m able to squeeze out some time, I’ll surely share my thoughts.

Shootout to all the Christian brothers out there!

Relationships are interesting situations to be in. If you’re in one, you’ll know what I’m talking about. But, either you are in a relationship or not, you should read this.

First of all, the title ‘Brother’ is not conferred on every man. It is a title for those who have chosen God to be their Father, and have accepted other believers as their brothers and sisters from another mother. As a man, when you become saved, you become a brother — a Christian brother.

Now, as a Christian brother in a relationship, I agree with you that you have to agree together on a time to share the word of God with your fiancée. You should have a time of sharing your thoughts on certain passages of the Scriptures. She should have the liberty to ask you questions from seemingly unclear passages of the Bible, and you should be ready with answers. That’s why you are called the head!

Apart from sharing the word of God with her, you also have a duty to pray with her. She needs you to have faith in seemingly hopeless situations. She needs you to be courageous enough to pray a prayer of faith for her healing when she’s weak or sick. She needs you to be a man of God for the home you want to build together.

You are expected to have developed a personal relationship with God, from where you draw strength and Manna to sustain your home. In a nutshell, you are not just her fiance, you are her pastor. I have no doubt that most Christian brothers are doing this just well enough. Or, aren’t you? I trust you are, and that’s highly commendable!

However, as a saved Christian brother, having a good relationship is not just about how spiritual you are. There is more to courtship than Bible Studies and prayer sessions!


Aside being a good Christian brother, be a gentleman too, and not just when you are with your intended, but every time.

As far as I am concerned, I have had enough of all this discourteous, unmannerly and caddish attitude of some so called brothers. All in the name of spirituality, they order sisters around as if they are their servants. Some even have the guts to shout on a lady, probably because they feel, “Well, she’s not the one I’m in a relationship with.” It will not surprise me then they begin to replicate the same in their relationships.

For others, they feel it is improper for them to open and hold the door for a lady to walk through, or help with one of her bags (not handbag, ladies don’t usually give that out). For them, that’s too humiliating! These are the class of brothers who hold the damnable heretical sentiment that the feminine gender are inferior to the masculine, and therefore should serve them. I’m wondering what kind of help you can give to those men, they really need help.

Another class is that of the proud Christian brothers (God forgive me because that even sound blasphemous to me). They are too big to use the words “I’m sorry,” “Please,” “Excuse me,” “Pardon me,” “Thank you.” They believe that they are always right and never wrong. They are too spirit-filled and anointed to make mistakes. Whenever there is a fault in a matter, they are quick to pass the buck just because they think they it can never be theirs. They never apologize to anyone, and worse still, they don’t know how to be appreciative of people’s kind deeds to them. In all honesty, I don’t every them from here to there.

The last category of this men I will discuss here that lack social grace is the selfish. They do nothing for nobody. They are tight-fisted, ungenerous and stingy. If a venture will not bring them any profit, they discard it. Sacrifice is not part of their vocabulary. They are like the dead sea, always receiving, never giving, and so, they have a stinking attitude.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t approve of a gentleman who is not a brother. Candidly speaking, a saved man who doesn’t show this gentlemanly behaviour is better than a gentleman who is not saved. And that is not a license for brothers to remain ungentlemanlike.

If I were to make a choice, I would rather choose a man who is both a brother and a gentleman. I would go for a man that combines spiritual grace with social grace. I would go for a man who values chastity and is still chivalrous enough to give up his seat for a lady, a physically challenged person, or a senior citizen. I would go for a man that fears God and loves people. I would go for a man who combines holiness with hospitality.

But since I’m not in position to choose a man, I choose to be that man.

Happy New Year!

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