How I Want to Die
There’s a rechargeable lamp in our house. To put it mildly, I dislike this lamp. With passion. And, I’m not even talking about its colour yet; it has a yellow colour which I consider too loud for my temperament.
Although, I consider yellow–shiny, glistening yellow–to be a good colour for a lamp because it should make it easily findable in the dark, but that doesn’t in any way make me like this lamp.
Electricity supply is fairly stable in our area, so, on good days, we have an aggregate of about 15 to 20 hours of power supply per day. This lamp would be plugged in and allowed to charge full. Apart from that, it has a solar panel with which you can charge it.
Unfortunately, whenever you need to use this lamp at night, it would glow brightly for the first 5 minutes or so, and then dim to an annoying shade. It even has an output port through which you can charge your phone, but if you dare use it at this time, your phone begins to discharge.
On a particular occasion, I thought of disposing the thing off. It’s better to know we don’t have it, than to bank on this disappointing stuff.
Then, I felt something in my spirit. Are some Christians not like that? I have had to examine my life in the light of that revelation.
I have access to the word of God from time to time. I am blessed with anointed teachers of the word. I am like that lamp that has a constant supply of spiritual manna. But, when the time comes to bear fruit, am I fruit-bearing? Am I giving to my world?
Are there times that I disappoint God? How faithful have I been in times when God expects me to discharge, out of the abundance He has invested in me, to those around me?
“For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.” (Luke 12:48). What is my reaction when God requires more of me?
In another dimension, if we consider the myth that overcharging spoils batteries (though nothing I know in electrochemistry supports that), is it possible that we caused this by overcharging the lamp? If true, then that leads me to scarier thoughts–the dead sea, the children of Israel in eating manna in the wilderness.
When someone is always getting but never giving, the over-concentration of what they receive soon becomes a disadvantage to them.
I don’t want to disappoint God when He looks up to my tree expecting fruits. I don’t want to selfishly conceal his abundant investment in me. I don’t want to end up like the tree that Jesus cursed for being fruitless.
I want to swallow all that God provides for me, and discharge as much of it as possible for this world before I leave. I want to be always available to give whatever I have to whoever needs it.
When my turn comes to die, I don’t want to leave this world with untapped potentials, undelivered messages, unexploited talents, un-expressed gifts, unfinished works, unaccomplished mission, or an unfulfilled life. I want to die empty.
So help me God.